Ballsed up Meatballs

Monday tea time I though id make pasta and meatballs I mean how hard can it be, so got myself some minced beef and had the other ingredients already, I cracked on and
got everything prepared I say prepared opened a packet of mince, defrosted some frozen onions opened two tins of sweetcorn and chopped up a tub of mushrooms sooo! time consuming.

So then I got to making the meatballs threw the mince beef into a bowl sprinkled some mixed herbs, salt and pepper added a little oil the grabbed my meat in my hand and game it a roll, repeated it a few times until I used up all the mince and my balls were all ready.

Frying time, first I fried off the meatballs they were big balls and took a while to cook, after a few minutes I took one of the balls out cut it through the middle and realised that they weren't cooking in the middle so my big balls all had to be chopped in half so that they would cook all the way through and avoid giving my family food poisoning. 

Next fried off the mushrooms in the meat juices and stuck some fusilli pasta on. Once everything was cooked through I added it to the pasta along with the sauce to jars of Dolmio sauce and mixed it all together.

Next I put some garlic and tomato bread in the oven and let the meatball pasta simmer. Once the bread was ready I dished it up and wolfed it down it was rather nice if I do say so myself and no one go food poison either.

Mince + Dumplings = Yumm!

The other day I finished work picked the bairn up from School and went down the Street (or up the Street as i'm constantly corrected by a friend of mine), anyway was looking for inspiration for what to have for tea then in my head I fancied mince and dumplings with a side of mash. Off to Iceland got my basket and had a wander round the shop. Got my Aunt Bessies Dumpling mix and look for the mince seen the frozen stuff but decided to go for fresh go a 500g packet and off to tills to pay for it. Got home and began getting sorted for cooking got out the frying pan and then grabbed a couple of onions roughly chopped them and threw them into the frying pan along with some mixed frozen veggies.

fried them off until the veggies were soft then poured them into the oven dish. Next up was the mince opened the mince and pulled it and dropped it into the same frying pan and began frying off the mince until it was all brown and cooked though threw in some salt and pepper plus a knorr beef stock pot.

Once the mince was all done I added it to the veggies and the poured a cup of bisto gravy over it then got to making the dumplings. Opened the Aunt Bessies Dumpling mix and poured it into and bowl mixing it as instructed on the packet theni added some Paxo sage and onion iv made sage and onion dumplings before and there actually quite tasty.

Once mixed I floured my hand and made golf ball sized dumplings patting there asses flat and adding them to the dish, all done then I popped it in the oven and began the big task of tidying up. Dumplings all lovely and brown so took it out of the oven during this I did stick some tetties on so they were boiling in the background just if your curious.

Ok everything done and I began serving it up but oh! no I wanted to be all fancy pants and decided to pipe my mash onto my plate this is what you get from watching cooking shows.

Right as you my have noticed  from the pick my piped mash does look a lot like white dog turd but id tasted a lot nicer (never tried dog turd before you ask) anywho the meal was lovely and went down a treat and the dumplings were just mmmmmm!.

A sweet Duet

The Galaxy Duet is a 95g bar of chocolate that comes in two flavours  Toffee & Popcorn and Cookies & Cream, though I have seen a caramel & shortcake bar but never tried it. I roped my two kids into trying out the duet chocolate, though it's chocolate didn’t take much convincing.

We opened up both bars and broke off a couple of pieces from each bar. The kids tried the Toffee Popcorn first they weren’t overly keen on it the toffee part of it was the nicest it had a nice caramel texture to it the popcorn was ok but nothing to write home about.

The next one we tried was the Cookies & Cream this was the better of the two bars the cookies was nice and crunchy and enjoyable to eat and the cream was an all-round winner with the kids they both liked this part it had a soft mousse like texture and a nice white chocolate taste to it.

At the time of purchase the bars were on offer two for £1 at Poundland though I’m not too sure if this offer is still on, but they are on sale at all good retailers go buy one today I’m sure you will like them as much as we did. and the kids gave the own opinions.

Becky "The Toffee & Popcorn one tasted of nuts I didn't like it. 

Ellie "I did like the Toffee one not the popcorn bit.



Becky "The Duet Cookies & Cream one was delicious and I liked this one the best.

"Ellie "The Cookies were hard but i liked the Cream bit. 

Ellie also added "If they made a Toffee & Cream one it would be my favouite. Can't please everyone.

Doritos A or B Taste Challenge

If you haven’t seen them in the shops Doritos have brought out two new promotional flavours of there great tasting corn chips. Buy them, try them, once you’ve decided on the flavour you love most then all you have to do is Tweet #DoritosA or #DoritosB @DORITOSUK or you can go on Doritos Facebook page and Hashtag #DoritosA or #DoritosB on their wall.

Doritos A

Doritos A are Sizzling Salsa flavour corn chips, they are orangey similar to the colour of the tangy cheese Doritos. After a couple of chips you can really taste the salsa flavour and after a few more you feel the sizzle part hit the back of your tongue. The taste is not an unpleasant experience and they do become quite moreish, I know this is a 200g sharing bag but who really shares this sized bag. I got bot my children to take part in the Doritos A or B taste challenge and there verdicts were.

Becky “The Sizzling Salsa was spicy, but I kind of liked them”

Ellie “The Salsa one were spicy, but nice”

Doritos B

Doritos B are Ultimate Cheeseburger flavour corn chips these are yellowy same colour as the cool original Doritos. The Ultimate Cheeseburger flavour are a smoother taste though not really feeling the cheeseburger part, they are really nice though and I could happily polish a bag of these off myself. My children also gave their verdict on these.

Becky “The Cheeseburger ones tasted really cheesy and those were my favourites.

Ellie “The Cheeseburger Flavour was cheesetastic and the winner”

Summary 

Both of these flavours are very nice and it will be a shame to have a winner, I would highly recommend going out and getting both bags and doing your own taste challenge and see what you favourite Dorito flavour is. On a personal note I did prefer the Sizzling Salsa over the Ultimate Cheeseburger, why because they did have a nice kick to them over the ok taste of the Cheeseburger chips.

My Top five Lager Drinks

Warning this post contains large amounts of alcohol so please read responsibly.

My Top five Lager Drinks

In this day and age it Sounds crazy when I say before I turned eighteen I never drank, hated the taste and smell of lager, I remember when I was younger having a taste of my Mams Federation Special and it was rank, sure I nearly spewed after trying it. And yes I had my Mams permission wasn’t anything underhanded. Anyway my top five boozy drinks, the following list is my personal experience and doesn’t reflect the brands or the tastes of others.

5. In at number five is Fosters know it’s a reasonable priced pint and has 4%vol. but it tastes a bit weak and watery so it’s at the bottom of my list.

4. Next in our list is LCL aka ‘Loony C@*ts Lager’, it’s a lovely smooth 5%vol premium strength lager but there lies the problem, it tastes so nice that you drink and drink and finally turn into a complete and utter Divvy that’s the clean version.

3. This brew is not to dissimilar to the one above it’s our French favourite Stella Artois it packs a nice 5.2%vol and also sends you a bit mental when consumed in high amounts.







2. This used to be my favourite lager but price and the constant hangovers on a Sunday morning knocked it from the top spot, the number two lager is Kronenbourg 1664 this is a lovely drink and would have been my top but after four to eight cans did leave me with killer bad hangovers.





1. The number one in my opinion has to be Coors Light, this comes in at an ok 4%vol and is a very nice drink, could happily drink them all day but that would make me drunk. Know this will not be everyone’s choice but it’s mine so deal with it, already had a few while writing this ‘hick’.

My First Pie!

Always fancied baking, in my head cakes pies and anything else I made always looked and tasted great, though have only ever tried baking cakes and they were well em!! made by me tasted good but looking like id dropped it then sat on it. In my defence i'm not Gordon F@*king Ramsey. Laying in bed one evening thoughts and memories popping into the emptiness that is my brain one stuck, it was of the baking my mam used to do when I was young, used to remember her in the kitchen with one of those large beige ceramic mixing bowls hand mixing the pastry and the remains of her cigarette balanced on the end of the kitchen bench, kitchen so hot it was like a sauna but she never complained, my mam always loved cooking for her family, So my mams skills should have rubbed of onto me, you would think right. So me being a typical bloke I decided to make my first pie, I remember how my mam baked in my head so how hard can it be ' famous last words'.

On Friday I went shopping and bought the ingredients that wern't in the cupboard, came home and began the simple task of baking a corned beef and potato pie. First off I peeled some potatoes chopped washed and put them into a pan then set away boiling. Next started on the pastry i'm a man I don,t measure Grrrr!, poured some plain flour into a mixing bowl with some butter i.e margarine then mixed it together with my fingers and yes I washed my hands i'm not silly. Got the mixture to a crumbly texture then added some water and mixed it together and then more water as it was a bit dry. Got it to a consistency I was happy with and then wrapped it in some cling film to put in the fridge, was going really well felt quite proud of myself got about a step from the fridge door and my lass chirp's up let me see the pastry, and in her "i'm a woman its in my genes tone" burst one of my many bubbles of the day and said "its to sticky needs to be thicker" and like the child I am I stomped off to the kitchen and unwrapped my bundle of happiness and threw it in the bowl and baptised it in flour and mixed it again, not that id ever admit but yes it was better after that.

Stuck the improved pastry into the fridge and left it for about 15 ish minutes. Got a tin of corned beef and opened it with out blood shed as those tins are lethal, I diced it up and left it, checked the potatoes needed a few more minutes giving me enough time to quickly peel and grate an onion. Taties ready drained and mashed them, next added the corned beef and the grated onion a little bit of salt and black pepper gave it a good mix then left it to cool.

Pastry rolling time, got the ball of pastry out of the fridge and unwrapped the cling film, pulled off a small bread roll sized piece heard that on a cooking program though they may have been baking bread rolls anyway, sprinkled flour onto the bench and dropped the pastry onto the bench, then got the only rolling pin we have in the house which belongs to the kids its tiny, I began rolling and in the word's of limp biscuit I kept on rolling rolling on, until it was just how I wanted it.

Got a plate out of the cupboard as this is a plate pie forgot to mention, told my lass who again bubble burstinly informed me "those plates aren't like the plates your mam used there not designed to go in the oven they will crack", my response "they didn't crack in the 3000°C kiln they were made in", man time I didn't listen. Got the commi chef to grease the plate.

Put the rolled pastry onto the plate and scooped the corned beef and potato filling into it,

rolled out another piece of pastry for the top, carefully placed it on top of the filling and trimmed the edge and gave it a good forking, rubbed milk all over it and popped it in the oven until it was done also made some little ones too.

That's the end result not to bad tasted great, and got the Ellie and Becky approval.

Trifly good pud

My lass got some Hartley's jelly pots the other day and they were calling to me "make something use me as you will", or maybe not that's making me sound scary. Scary aside I did go ahead and make Sunday trifles, why Sunday trifles I hear you ask cause I made them on Sunday in a Sunday glass oh and there trifles. so opened a jelly pot and poured it into the Sunday glass, oh its jelly and jelly doesn't pour it just sits in the pot laughing at you, frantically shaking a pot of superglue jelly, finally "sh lop" out comes the jelly though it stopped about a millimetre from the bottom of the glass, so I grab a spoon and begin stabbing at the jelly forcing it down to the bottom has to look good you know. Next professionally making custard using nothing but a tin opener, poured it onto the jelly and happy its not blending in.

The last and best layer of a trifle in my book the cream, used to love the cream topping on Birds strawberry trifle but the never seemed to be enough.

Time to cream whipped cream that is, poured one carton into a bowl and using an electric mixer as i'm lazy, began to whip my cream until it was getting nice and firm, then realised one carton just wasn't enough so added another and continued whipping.

Got myself a tablespoon and started scooping big dollops of cream carefully dropping them into the glass then another and another until the cream was level with the top of the glass and for the pièce de résistance or the posh bit on top grated galaxy as i forgot to buy a flake. Repeated three more times as my life wouldn't be worth living if id only made one.

And they were lovely, though after a full Sunday dinner I was the only greedy git who ate all of it i'm a bad piggy but I like it.